Moana review

Disney brings yet another animated classic to life by simply copy-and-pasting the cartoon to live-action

Directed by: Thomas Kail
Written by: Jared Bush & Dana Ledoux Miller
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Catherine Laga’aia, Rena Owen
Rated PG for action/peril, some scary images, rude humor and brief thematic elements
Release Date: July 10, 2026
Runtime: 1:55

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This review may contain spoilers

Nope, I’m never, ever watching any Disney remakes. Nope, no way!

Ugh, well, it was a long run. The only exemption I made was Lilo & Stitch, and that was actually pretty solid. Plus, Stitch is awesome and is the best Disney character since Aladdin’s Genie. But that came out in 2002, and the live-action adaptation was in 2025, so a decent 23 years had passed.

The animated movie Moana was out in 2016. I’m not a math major, but I think that’s just about 10 years ago. Disney remade a cartoon 10 years later and even had the voice actor reprise his role for it.

The House of Mouse (and probably Dwayne Johnson, too) really couldn’t let this movie settle a little longer before making it live-action.

When the light in the back hits the screen, it doooooomed me…

So if you’re familiar with the original Moana, then you’re all good. This movie is literally a carbon copy of the animation, only now in live-action.

For those who still haven’t seen it, Moana (Catherine Laga’aia in her first movie) is the chief’s daughter on Motunui, a tropical island in Polynesia. Life on the island is rotting away from a darkness coming from a faraway lava demon called Te Kā.

Te Kā exists after a demigod known as Maui (reprised by Dwayne Johnson) pried the heart of Te Fiti, the goddess of nature, from her body to give to humanity a thousand years ago.

Despite her parents refusing her leave the island, Moana will brave the seas to find the cure to Te Kā’s darkness – forcing a lost Maui to return Te Fiti’s heart (which is actually a glowing stone) to her island body. Along the way, they have to retrieve his magical hook from a singing crab, fight coconut pirates (they are exactly what they sound like), and make sure Moana’s braindead rooster doesn’t kill itself.

Again, if you’ve seen the cartoon, you’re not missing a single thing. Trust me; you’re welcome.

“I am Moana!”

For Catherine Laga’aia’s first movie, she was good. She sings, she carries herself onscreen, and she and Johnson worked great together.

I dunno, something about Laga’aia threw me off with her version of Moana. Maybe it’s how different she looked from the character than I expected. Original voice actor Auli’i Cravalho actually has a close resemblance to her animated character, so maybe it’s a weird visual translation with me.

Cravalho said she wanted a new Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) actress to pass the torch to. Aw, bless you.

Can you smeelllllllll what the Demigod is cooking?

Dwayne Johnson is, in all fairness, a fantastic actor. Dude can really act, can sing and dance, and he can even out-funny comedians onscreen. You know who I’m talking about…

I was honestly stunned by how great a voice actor he was in the original animation. He sounded like a seasoned voice actor!

And believe it or not, he works out! Even though he’s wearing a 40lb muscle suit for the film. A world-famous bodybuilder is wearing a friggin’ muscle suit! What is happening?

Actually, he explained on Instagram that the suit made it easier for his character’s animated tattoos to come to life, so I guess that makes a lot of sense. Still, it’s weird having a seriously muscular dude wearing a muscle suit.

Also, could Disney not find a better wig for him? The movie cost over $200 million, and they wound up with a hairpiece that looks like it was snatched up from my local community theater.

Disney: Where cash grabs can come true

Oh, I won’t sugarcoat this at all – This Moana is nothing more than a cash grab. This movie is literally a shot-by-shot remake of the cartoon.

It’s nearly like the Psycho remake starring Vince Vaughn. You don’t know it? Lucky you!

I came home and replayed the animated Moana just to make sure I wasn’t tripping. And tripping I was not! Nothing was different! The songs, scenes, jokes, lines… it was all the same!

MoanaVerse

Well, this is awkward. Two years ago, Johnson finished Moana 2, and a third animated Moana is in development on the horizon.

It makes it all the more weird that there’s now a live-action movie, too. The main voice actor being in the separate live-action movie makes it weirder and more confusing.

Hey, maybe in a few years, they can live-adapt Moana 2, again starring Dwayne Johnson, and it, too, can be a carbon copy of the animation. Why not?!

“I wasn’t even supposed to be here today!”

Due to Fandango royally screwing me over, instead of watching a horror movie filled with mutilations and horrified screams, I was left with a last-minute showing of Moana. It was either that or Minions.

Thanks, Fandango! Your screwy systems can suck it!

What can I saaaay, but no thank you?!

If I’m totally honest, Moana is really not a bad film. It has a great story, lovable characters, and fun songs that repeat themselves in my brain over and over again.

It would be a great Disney live-action film… if I hadn’t already seen it 10 Mickey Mouse-flippin’ years ago!

This is really what happens when you want to avoid fans bitching about making changes to the material in an adaptation. “Joker didn’t kill Batman’s parents,” “Iron Man didn’t create Ultron,” or “John Hammond was supposed to be killed in Jurassic Park by the cute little dinos,” and so on.

This wound up being a waste of time and money to safely cash out on their existing content that made money before. This was low even for Disney live-action remakes’ standards.

Luckily, this was a rescheduled ticket, so you guys don’t technically get my money! Take that, Disney!

Moana is currently playing in theaters.