It’s like Die Hard except it makes you cry
Directed by: Edward Drake
Written by: Edward Drake & Corey Large
Starring: Bruce Willis, Corey Large, Mitchell Baker
Rated R for violence, language throughout and a sexual reference
Release Date: December 9, 2022
Runtime: 1:37
This review may contain spoilers and Die Hard references
Christmas action hero
First off, I want to get this out of the way – Die Hard is a Christmas movie. There, I said it. And I don’t care if Bruce Willis himself says it’s not. Because it is! This is more than just a “Bruce Willis movie,” it’s a “Bruce Willis Saving Christmas” movie, thank you very much.
And now, Willis is saving Christmas again – from anarchist bank robbers obsessed with a Santa Claus theme. Dear God, this already sounds like a Die Hard rip-off.
Not-John McClane in Not-Diehard
Willis plays James Knight, a disgraced LA detective serving a prison sentence after the events of the first movie, Detective Knight: Rogue. Short story: Knight went “rogue” and killed a bunch of bad guys in New York. But because the NYPD said not to kill them, he was arrested. And now, here we are.
While in prison, a psychotic terrorist known as The Christmas Bomber shows up and busts a bunch of inmates out as new recruits for his psycho Santa Claus cult. Knight is given a deal to have the charges dropped and will be a detective again if he goes out and kills The Christmas Bomber and his ho-ho-hoing disciples (seriously, they chant ho-ho-ho when they attack people).
Detective Knight
Redemption is the second installation of the Detective Knight trilogy created by director Edward Drake. There really isn’t much about this trilogy other than the director has a love for bad action films and holiday themes. And somehow, Willis has headlined eight movies with Drake since 2020.
Rogue came out in October 2022 with a (barely) Halloween element. Knight snuck around unstealthily around in a Halloween mask during Halloween to get to the bad guys’ secured house. So there you go, Halloween.
Redemption came out in December, and you guessed it, it’s Christmas-themed. At least, this time, the holiday theme was more prominent. Goofy, but it at least tried. The bad guys don Santa coats and use Santa masks when raiding banks and attacking people. The leader is obsessed with long-winded speeches about most people being naughty and worshipping money and blah, blah, freaking blah.
There’s still one more movie in this trilogy coming out – Detective Knight: Independence. Because sure, why not drag Independence Day into this?
There’s only one reason to watch this
Obviously, it’s Willis in another Christmas action movie. Honestly, Willis keeps playing multiple cop roles that are basically John McClane, so it was only a matter of time before he was an action cop saving the day during Christmas again.
There’s also a recurring one-liner Knight does in each movie. While totally NOT ripping off Die Hard’s “yippie kai yay, mother fucker” line, Knight kills the main bad guys with (you guessed it) holiday greetings. In Rogue, it was “Happy Halloween, mother fucker” and now it’s “Merry Christmas, mother fucker.”
Again, totally not the same thing.
Bruce Willis’ retirement
It’s actually hard watching this, knowing about Willis’ recent condition, his announced retirement, and that this is one of his last works as a world-famous action star. It’s damn insulting to see Bruce Willis go out with these half-assed, straight-to-DVD crap fests that you’d find in the $1 bin during its first week out. It leaves me angrily speechless.
For those who haven’t heard, Willis announced that he’s suffering from a language disorder called aphasia. The movie star’s announcement actually helped bring this condition out in the open, despite 180,000 Americans being diagnosed with it every year.
This hurts way more than it should
As a bad movie, Detective Knight: Redemption is harmless. It’s not good, but it’s not bad enough to call it entertainingly bad, either. It’s just bland. Bruce Willis is the only way this movie could have gotten any attention.
As a Bruce Willis movie, it’s especially tragic being some of his last go as an actor. Man needs his own “redemption” after this garbage.
So Merry Christmas, mother fuckers… and to all you mother fuckers, a motherfucking good night! See you next X-mas.
