H.G. Wells is rolling in his grave so fast, he’s time travelling
Directed by: Rich Lee
Written by: Kenneth A. Golde & Marc Hyman
Starring: Ice Cube, Eva Longoria, Clark Gregg
Rated PG-13 for some sci-fi action/violence, strong language, and bloody images
Release Date: July 30, 2025
Runtime: 1:31
This review may contain spoilers
Amazon presents the end of the world
Imagine, if you will, a new remake of the classic The War of the Worlds (it’s been a while since the Tom Cruise remake). Now, imagine that the main hero is Ice Cube (from the Friday films) as our last hope for humanity. Then imagine that Ice Cube works for the Department of Homeland Security and spends most of his time accessing security cameras and people’s personal Amazon carts (not kidding). Now, imagine Ice Cube watching an alien invasion unfold on his monitor screen throughout the entire movie.
That’s Amazon’s War of the Worlds. And their marketing department is going to make sure you know it’s them (they weren’t smart enough to pass the blame off to someone else).
Straight Outta FaceTime
The alien invasion begins with a massive meteor shower, concealing large mechanical tripods capable of firing powerful lasers. Ice Cube has a front-row seat to the chaos as DHS officer William Radford, who has access to all cameras, phones, and electronic devices.
And that’s about it. You’ll sit through 91 minutes watching Ice Cube staring at his screen as everything unfolds. Somewhere in there is William’s boss, Donald Briggs (Clark Gregg, ABC’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), the cause of the alien invasion. Darn greedy government wanting more power!
And hey, Eva Longoria (ABC’s Desperate Housewives) is doing stuff, too. Good for her.
Screenlife
Screenlife is a newer genre of filmmaking. It’s a style of media that takes place entirely on screens, typically phone screens or computer screens. It’s a lot like found footage films, but screenlife is happening in real time; found footage is just past recordings, usually from a camcorder.
A couple of films in this screenlife genre are Unfriended and Searching. Unfriended is a Skype video chat between six students when their call is haunted by another student they bullied, who then committed suicide. Searching follows a dad as he tries to find his missing daughter, the entire time on his phone or computer. Both did pretty well and even spawned sequels.
Disruptors Anonymous
Before all hell broke loose, Ice Cube was helping the FBI in tracking down the Disruptor. Basically, it’s like Anonymous, but just wearing a hoodie over their face, no Guy Fawkes mask. Anyways, not only does Disruptor know about the impending alien invasion, but they also have the secret to defeating them. Because, of course, they do; the movie needs to wrap up this attack before dinnertime.
No, really, this whole thing takes up the whole afternoon. From the aliens’ crash-landing to their defeat (spoilers, but who really cares?), everything took place over a standard business day. Worst alien invasion ever!
This invasion brought to you by Amazon.com
How to make this an obvious Amazon Prime movie? Self-advertise your Amazon services like crazy!
Amazon delivery, Amazon store, and even Ice Cube’s son-in-law is an Amazon delivery guy. In the middle of the alien attack, Ice Cube and his family bribe a homeless guy with an Amazon gift card. Hobo even has a working cell phone (go ahead and make sense of that).
Even Michael Bay is more subtle with product placement. You marketing guys at Amazon need to chill.
It was not a good day, Ice Cube
I didn’t even know about this movie until it was announced it had a 0% rating on Rotten Tomatoes (now at 4%). Even knowing that it got that low a rating still doesn’t prepare you for how much it really sucks. Unless you want to see close-ups of Ice Cube reacting to family secrets, deep secret conspiracies, people getting zapped to death, and hating on his son-in-law, it’s going to be a rough time. Overall, this is just a lame attempt to cash in on the H.G. Wells classic.
War of the Worlds is streaming on Amazon Prime.
