Santa has had it with the Naughty List
Directed by: Tommy Wirkola
Written by: Pat Casey & Josh Miller
Starring: David Harbour, John Leguizamo, Leah Brady
Rated R for strong bloody violence, language throughout, and some sexual references
Release Date: December 2, 2022
Runtime: 1:52
This review may contain spoilers
The Bloody Night Before Christmas
‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the mansion,
A rich family was held at gunpoint in the rudest fashion;
The family huddled together, filled with fear,
In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there;
Armed with only his Christmas magic and red suit,
Everyone on his Naughty List, he’s ready to execute.
And Ho, Ho, Ho-ly shit, does he execute.
This movie already won me over by mixing some of my favorite Christmas movies into one. Violent Night is a combo of Die Hard (the epically greatest Christmas movie of all time, fight me) and Bad Santa, with just a pinch of Home Alone mixed in for one hilarious scene.
Just before Christmas
Little Trudy Lightstone (Leah Brady, Netflix’s The Umbrella Academy) and her family are spending Christmas at her wealthy grandmother Gertrude’s (Beverly D’Angelo, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation) mansion. Unfortunately, her Christmas is ruined by deadly mercenaries who break into the mansion and hold Trudy’s family hostage. Their leader, “Mr. Scrooge” (John Leguizamo, Ice Age films), is after Gertrude’s private vault and is willing to kill every member of Gertrude’s family for her money.
Luckily for Trudy, NY hero cop John McClane is upstairs and breaks into action to… oh wait, wait; Wrong Christmas action movie.
Luckily for Trudy, Santa Claus (David Harbour, Netflix’s Stranger Things) has just arrived with presents. Stranded with no weapons, Santa must find a way to save the Lightstone family, especially after his reindeer ditched him there.
But this isn’t just any holly, jolly, fat guy in a red suit – this Santa was once a bloodthirsty Viking warrior.
Tommy Wirkola
Director Tommy Wirkola is a Norwegian filmmaker, and he has a wide range of different genres that he has written and directed. Violent Night is a mixture of dark humor and gratuitous violence like his past films like Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters and Dead Snow.
David Harbour
Harbour as Santa Claus was great casting. While playing Santa off as a troubled alcoholic losing the meaning of Christmas, Harbour shows off that this Santa can whoop some ass when cornered. Once he realizes that this family needs saving (and has little choice), the old Viking warrior emerges and… I mean, just obliterates bad guys.
But Harbour really brought a range of inner issues to this Santa. It gives this movie more than just gratuitous violence. Dealing with his own personal problems with how children are with presents today (including a running gag of most of the gifts being video games), Santa is also a coward when the bad guys first show up, hiding and hoping to not be found.
Santa slays
But once Santa unleashes the killing beast within him, the bad guys won’t stand a chance. Santa is brutal. He alternates between axes, Christmas tree stars, and even a sharpened candy cane. Santa even pulls the pin from a grenade on one of the bad guys and lets it blow him up. The violence and brutality are over-the-top, making the film much more worth watching.
Home Alone shenanigans
Trudy gets away from the mercenaries at one point and makes DIY traps inspired by Home Alone. Her traps include nails on ladder steps, bowling balls, and launched dumbbells. It’s funny to see in an actual violent movie, showing the real damages and pain being dealt. Seriously, every trap Kevin used in Home Alone was enough to cause concussions, internal bleeding, and almost certain deaths of his home invaders. I know they’re the bad guys, but Jesus, that kid was a little monster.
I’ve seen this turn into a trend lately, too; other movies utilize traps made from everyday household items to stop intruders. I saw it done in Skyfall, where James Bond and his boss, M, set nasty traps in Bond’s childhood home. In Equalizer, Denzel Washington turned the home improvement store into a death house aisle by aisle. And even frickin’ Rambo resorted to Home Alone antics in his last film, Rambo: Last Blood.
Although silly in those previous films, it’s way funnier in Violent Night. As I said, in Home Alone, Kevin’s traps were playful traps that, in real life, would have killed Harry and Marvin 12 times over. In this movie, Trudy stuck to the playfulness of Home Alone traps, but the film kept the real violence of the trap’s actions. It adds a level of humor that an adult who grew up with Home Alone can really appreciate.
Sequel hopes
There are a few rumors of a potential sequel to Violent Night. Talks have even been about casting someone for Mrs. Claus. I’m hoping there’s more to how Santa went from being a murderous Viking to becoming Saint Nick and possessing all of his Christmas magic.
A new Christmas classic!
Violent Night kicks ass! I was going in expecting a silly and over-the-top violent movie, and hell yeah, it gives you exactly that. It may not be Die Hard (like that would be an easy movie to replace), but it’s just an awesome excuse to have Santa Claus brutally butcher a bunch of guys. It adds fun Christmas antics as weapons like Santa sharpening a candy cane into a sharp weapon or even a Christmas tree star topper as a throwing star. It’s a fun Santa movie if you can handle a “violent night.”
